The fly in the ointment
by JohnAlpaqa
Summary: Lizzie can't get used to life with money. (Lizzie Bennet Diaries)


She always knew that classism was bullshit and should die with 19th century, but she also knew that some people are just richer than her. She knew that, but before these rich people came into her life, she wasn't giving much thought their lifes and how much they differ from hers. She was not stupid, she had full understanding that they are wildly different, it just wasn't something on her mind. She was kind of jealous about not having student loans, but that was usually it, these people eating caviar with champagne somehow existed like on a different planet. She also strongly believed all people should be equals, so she never considered herself worse than rich people, just less lucky.

And now she found herself on their planet. And she was not really ready for this. It was... Can something be too amazing? Because that would sum up her experience. Yes, it had a very sad layer to it that she was aware of. World's resources should be managed better and rich people don't deserve what they have as much as poor people don't deserve to be poor and capitalism is only good for making rich people richer and rest of the world miserable while at the same time giving naive people fantasy of american dream and making their own riches with intelligence and hard work. This is all true, absolutely. But also... To find herself in her boyfriend's apartment after being brought up in a house with three kids and not much money was so, so, so amazing. It goes without saying that super mega uber hugest part was that she loved William so very much and would be absolutely happy to live with him in the forest and drink water from a river, but... that was not the case. And she somehow felt bad about how happy she was that it wasn't. She felt very shallow enjoying the luxury. And not only the luxury, she was impressed even by a hydraulic installation that wasn't in need of a repair all the time. She loved taking a bath in William's big bathtube in San Francisco, using all the cremes and soaps that he buys her as gifts. It was just so new and relaxing and it also had a jacuzzi option and it made her exited lika a little kid. Also the bed. The mattress was the softest she ever slept on and she never wanted to get off of it. She loved the mattress so much she was ashamed of it, because lying on it her attention should go fully elsewhere. When she slept here for the first time she praised the bed so much she started apologizing for giving such a meterialistic golddigger imperssion. He was just laughing awkwardly.

Getting gifts from William was also putting her in an troublesome position, because she never wanted to be just a rich man's girlfriend, she had ambitions and goals of her own and was able to support herself, but could never afford life like this.

This summer he took her to Europe and she was able to see all the museums she dreamed of seeing since she was a little girl in love with books and art. She had seen Rome, London, Paris, Warsaw, Berlin... It was amazing and living in America she never could even imagine places this rich in history, since her country was just a cheap knockoff build on native inhabitant's land. But also europe civilisation was build thank to huge human exploitation, and now it still makes money on it. He was spending so much on great hotels, expensive food, tickets for everything... She was overwhelmed by how poor she felt comparing to him. She does not believe social classes should exist, but now, seeing it with her own eyes, she felt how weird it was of him to be even interested in her while she was from such a different planet than him. She had never been on a trip like this before and it was nothing big for him.

Summing everything up, living your happiest, best life comes with a cost of feeling out of place and also kind of out of place with feeling out of place, because she might have as well be born a daughter of the british queen, so there was not reason for her not to stay at those five stars hotels and drink champagne, but was there a reason for anyone to do that? Was being rich in this world ever moral? Was it moral that life in luxury made her happy? Was she empty and shallow?

When life gets easier it gets also more complicated.


End file.
